He just didn’t like me that much

I’ve recently gotten back to therapy, mostly because I really had a hard time bouncing back from the grief when Rox died.

One of the things I brought up (non-Rox related) was that tiktok trend of “right where you left me” and where women are in their healing journey. It’s hard to say it out loud – but sometimes my mind decides to self sabotage and wonder what’s wrong with me and why I’ve never been treated as someone important enough to not lose.

And logically, I know that these are things that are out of my control. That it happened because they just didn’t like me as much as I thought they did.

I have only even started talking about past experiences that I’ve kept buried and hidden from other people, even to the ones closest to me. One of my friends cried when she realized just how much I’ve suffered in silence for years. She said no wonder, I had been carrying so much resentment. If I’m being honest, one of the reasons I didn’t say anything was because of how humiliating it was.. that I let someone treat me the way I’ve been treated.

Ugh. It’s probably the time of the month that’s messing with my head again.